To Harley, With Love
by HarleenQuinn
Summary: As Ivy convinces Harley to explore new dating possibilities with, in particular, the Riddler, the Joker must come to terms with his feelings for Harley before it's too late.
1. Chapter 1

To Harley, With Love

_Those Arkham days _

_Of telling tales and hearing wails are gone_

_But in my mind I know that they still live on and on_

_But how do you thank someone_

_Who has taken you from insanity to true love?_

_It isn't easy, but I'll try_

_If you wanted the sky_

_I would write across the sky in letters_

_That would soar a thousand feet high_

_To Harley, with love_

Harley Quinn sat on the bed with the velvet purple sheet barely covering her curvaceous body. She let her long blonde hair fall loose, and she covered her lips in shockingly cherry red gloss. When she heard the Joker begin to walk upstairs, she posed with an inviting smile and deviant eyes. This was the moment she had been waiting for all day.

The Joker stumbled into their bedroom looking rather disheveled and fatigued. His purple top hat was falling off his green-clad head, and his black jacket showed discernable wrinkles. His tired eyes grew wide when he saw Harley lying on the bed so seductively. He wanted to kiss her and hold her. But he couldn't…

"Harley, what are you wearing?" The Joker asked, eyes gawking at the see-through nightgown Harley was donned in.

Harley replied, smiling, "A new nightgown. Bought it especially for tonight."

"Tonight?"

Harley's crystal blue eyes began to fill with tears. "Our anniversary? You forgot?"

Joker looked at Harley in surprise with a hint of guilt, one of his most rarely felt emotions, rising up in him like steam from a teapot. Quickly, he responded, "No, of course not…it's just that I was…gonna surprise you doing the same thing…"

Harley looked at him incredulously. "Really?"

"Of course, pumpkin pie," Joker said, affecting a thoughtful disposition. He smiled at his lover with a genuine grin, and Harley's despondent sapphire eyes quickly lit up.

"Okay, then, Puddin," Harley purred deviously. "Come here."

As Harley motioned for Joker to sit next to her on the bed, he looked away. "What's wrong, Mistah J?"

Faltering in his words, the Joker said, "I'm just a little tired. That's all."

Harley's usual smile disappeared like a resplendent moon behind a dark tree. "But it's our anniversary…"

"I'm tired, okay, Harley?" Joker riposted irritably.

"But…"

Without a second's vacillation, the Joker reached over and slapped Harley hard. Although Harley was used to this pain and abuse, she felt as if she could not do much to restrain from crying. But she knew that if she shed any tears, the man she loved would become even more irate.

Harley beseeched quietly, "Tell me what's wrong."

The Joker just turned around, throwing of both his ebony trench coat and his usual amethyst jacket.

Harley sighed. "I thought you'd be happy…"

"Happy?" The Joker asked, now in an unreasonable rage. "To get home from a long and torturous day of arduously planning my newest crime, and you know how hard I work, and find my girlfriend pressuring me to…"

"I wasn't trying to pressure you…I just…we haven't made love in a long time, Puddin. And what better time than our anniversary?"

Inside, Joker smiled when he heard Harley call him Puddin, but on the outside, he growled at the affectionate sobriquet. However, his anger was deeply rooted in the the fact that he wanted to show his love but didn't know how.

"Get out, Harley."

"What?"

"Get out!" The Joker reiterated. "Go to Ivy's or something. I need to be alone."

Harley was extremely used to the Joker kicking her out of her own home. But usually he knocked her around a bit before demanding her departure. She considered herself lucky that he had only slapped her once that night, and she knew her fortune would be brighter to leave before the Joker really found himself in a tantrum. Despite this knowledge, Harley said, "Okay…if that's what you want."

"Of course it is! Why would I say something if I didn't mean it?"

Harley's plump garnet lips trembled. "Well, you told me you loved me. I guess you didn't mean that."

Harley quickly stepped off the bed, put on her coat and left, leaving the Joker to ponder what she had said. And unusually, he did. He couldn't sleep all night, hearing her voice say the words in a tormenting repetition. He didn't know why it was bothering him as much as it was. He thought maybe it was because Harley never doubted his love for her before.


	2. Chapter 2

Harley ambled alone on the dark streets of Gotham City. She didn't have the need to look where she was going; she knew the way to Ivy's as well as she knew the Harlequin costume she wore everyday. Just thinking about her costume made her miserable. Harley gave up everything for the Joker, and for the first time she began to wonder what he gave up for her.

Everyone thought that the Joker would be nothing without Harley. She thought it was partially true. He was exceptionally strong both physically and mentally to be capable of giving Batman such heated fights, but Harley contributed greatly to the formation and execution of Joker's plans. She wondered if the Joker even realized or appreciated her aid in the eradication of Batman and furthermore, her unconditional love for the clown. Usually something in her heart told her he did, but that feeling was gone. 'What's happening to me?' Harley wondered.

The depleted jester sat down on Ivy's porch before going inside. The Joker kicked her out so frequently that Ivy's house had become a second home to her. Ivy detested the Joker and he detested her. It was hard for Harley to be in the middle of what seemed to be a never-ending quarrel between her boyfriend and her best friend. But although Ivy hated the Joker, her door was always open to Harley.

Harley was hesitant to ring Ivy's doorbell. She knew that Ivy would just lecture her on the inequities of how the Joker treated her, and Harley wasn't in the mood to be taught a lesson she knew she would never truly learn. She was embarrassed to tell Ivy what had happened, because whenever Ivy accused the Joker of not loving Harley, she would stand up for him and tell Ivy that he did love her. Ivy didn't believe it any of those times, and she definitely wouldn't believe Harley's protests tonight. After all, it was their anniversary and the Joker still demanded Harley's absence.

Although Harley was unendurably abashed, she knew she had no choice. She rang the rose-shaped doorbell and heard the woodwind chimes. Almost immediately, Ivy answered the door. She looked at Harley's crying eyes with surprise.

"Harley?" Ivy's expression was one of deep concern. "What are you doing here?"

"Take a wild guess," Harley scoffed.

"Well…I mean…on your anniversary?"

Harley didn't want to be reminded of the very fact she was hoping Ivy would forget. "Oh…you remembered?"

"How could I forget?" Ivy said with a bit of sarcasm. "The whole day, you wouldn't stop talking about how excited you were or what the Joker was going to get you!"

"Oh…"

"So, what happened?" Ivy inquired as she led Harley inside the house. The two sat on the vine green suede couch.

"Well, you know that surprise I was gonna give him at night?"

Ivy looked down uncomfortably, finding the image of the Joker naked repulsive. "Yeah…"

Harley continued, "Well, he said he was going to surprise me by doing the same, and then he said he was too tired. I tried a little more with him, and then he slapped me and told me to get out."

Ivy shook her head in despair. "Harley," Ivy started. She was about to give Harley the same old lecture about leaving the Joker, but decided not to. "I'm sorry."

Harley wiped away a few more tears, and then hugged Ivy. "Would it be okay if I crashed here tonight?"

"You know my home is your home anytime you want."

Harley smiled her beautiful smile for the first time since she left her house. But Ivy could still see the sadness behind the smile. The sadness the Joker caused her.

Back at the Joker's lair, the Joker was still tossing and turning, thinking about Harley. He regretted what he did, and wondered why he continued treating Harley as unforgivable as he did.

'I know that she'll coming running back to me tomorrow…so why am I feeling this way?' he asked himself. A few minutes later, the Joker finally began to shut his eyes, but sleeping didn't edit out the constant thoughts of Harley that plagued his mind.

That night, when Harley had already succumb to the comforting blackness of sleep, Ivy walked in to say goodnight. She saw Harley's pillow soaked from tears and an unusual frown on Harley's dreaming face. Ivy replaced the pillow without waking Harley, and went back into her room.

'This has got to stop,' she thought silently.

The next morning was clear and gorgeous. The sun was a like a fresh, juicy tangerine in the cyan skies. The birds' morning aubade was blissful, and everything in Gotham seemed to be peaceful for a change.

Harley awoke to the sweet smell of roses and lilacs. She rubbed her eyes, which were still red from the tears she shed last night. She slowly got out of bed and stumbled into the kitchen where Ivy was cooking a delectable breakfast.

"Mornin', Red," Harley said, yawning.

Ivy turned around and saw Harley smiling at her. "Good morning, Harls. Sleep well?"

"Um, just normal I guess," Harley replied. She took a seat at the table.

"Normal?" Ivy said. "As in, crying yourself to sleep?"

Ivy knew Harley too well, and it was hard for Harley to keep anything from her, even if it was mortifying. "Yeah. I guess."

"Harley…you're not going back to the Joker today, are you?"

As Joker had thought, Harley always came back to him. And although he acted as if he resented her coming back, he was always very thankful and relieved. But Harley was still in doubt. "Well, yeah, I mean he's my boyfriend and I love him and…" Harley sounded unsure of herself.

Ivy asked, "And?"

Covering her face with her hands, Harley shouted, "I don't know, Red! I don't know anymore!"

"Don't know what?"

Harley calmed herself. "It's really strange. I've been doubting a lot lately. First I doubted that the Joker loved me, and now I'm doubting that I love him. I know it's crazy but…"

Ivy was more than pleased to hear this. Maybe Harley was falling out of love. Or at least out of her constant world of denial.

"It's not crazy, Harls. I think it's great," she told her friend cheerfully.

"Well, I guess you would. But…"

"Listen, Harley," Ivy interrupted. "How about we do something fun today? Just take your mind off the Joker for a while, and see how you feel tonight."

Harley hesitated, then nodded. "That sounds great, Red."

"What do you want to do?"

"Go on a crime spree?" Harley suggested.

After considering this, Ivy shook her head. "I think we should do something completely separated from our usual lives. Just totally forget about Gotham and Joker and Batman for a while."

A bit taken aback by Ivy's refusal to go a crime spree, her favorite pastime, Harley stumblingly said, "Well, I hear there is a snow-skiing competition today in Garwood City. I've never done it in my life, but I've always wanted to!

Ivy looked at Harley in confusion. "You're gonna enter the competition?"

Harley nodded brightly. "Why not? Like you said, you gotta seize life and live it!"

Ivy started getting panicked. "Wait, I never said that…"

Harley ignored her, and cried happily, "What are we waitin' for, Red? Let's go get em'!" Before Ivy could protest, Harley took her hand and led her out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

The Joker reclined on the couch waiting for Harley to come home. He had been waiting for hours, reading the "1,500 Best Jokes" book she had given him for his birthday. He absently turned the radio. The song "Oh, Mandy" by Barry Manilow blasted from it.

_I remember all my life __  
__raining down as cold as ice.__  
__Shadows of a man, __  
__a face through a window cryin' in the night, __  
__the night goes into ___

_Morning just another day; __  
__happy people pass my way. __  
__Looking in their eyes, __  
__I see a memory I never realized __  
__how happy you made me. ___

_Oh, Mandy well, __  
__you came and you gave without taking, __  
__but I sent you away. __  
__Oh, Mandy well, __  
__you kissed me and stopped me from shaking, __  
__and I need you today. Oh, Mandy! _

The lyrics penetrated the Joker's mind, as they repeating like a perpetual cycle in his head. He turned the radio off.

'Oh, Harley, how I need you today…' he thought to himself.

The doorbell rang and he quickly jumped up, but didn't want to seem desperate, so he waited a little while before answering it.

When he did open the large mahogany door, Edward Nygma, Harvey Dent, and Victor Fries stood there. The Joker disappointedly greeted them. "Oh, it's only you guys."

"Disappointed are we?" Edward asked. "Who were you expecting?"

A rare rose hue was seen against the Joker's pale face. "No one…I just forgot we had a card game today."

The men walked into the living room where the oak card table stood. Each of them took their seats, and Harvey started dealing out the cards.

Everyone seemed quiet, but only Victor commented on it. "It seems really silent in here today. Silent like a cold wind in the winter."

The men, used to hearing Victor's continuous comments on cold weather, rolled their eyes.

Edward agreed, "Yes, it does seem different in here."

Harvey suggested, "Maybe because we don't smell the freshly baked chocolate chip cookies we usually have."

"Yes, that's part of it," Edward deduced. "Where's Harley, Joker?"

Joker decided to ignore his question. "So, who wants to go first?"

Edward, Harvey, and Victor stared at the Joker as is he were from Neptune. But deciding it was really none of their business, they continued just playing cards.

An hour passed and Edward got up and put on his coat. Harvey questioned, "Hey, where are you going, Eddie?"

"I'm in the snow-skiing competition, remember? It starts in a couple hours, so I should probably go."

"Try not to get stuck out on the wrong slope, Eddie," the Joker said, giggling. "And good luck skiing in the sun…you'll definitely need it!"

The Joker laughed, but no one laughed with him. His laugh dwindled down quickly, coming to the harsh realization that even his jokes were taking a turn for the worst without Harley.

Edward asked, "But before I leave, care to partake in a riddle?"

The men looked upon him indifferently. Edward continued, "What has six legs, three smiles, and one award?"

No one answered.

"Me winning the competition with two women on my arms, of course!" Edward said as he left laughing.

After an hour of arguing with Mr. Rejokis, the head of the competition, about letting her enter at the last minute, Harley finally decided to just stay and watch the contest. She went to a seat in the back where Ivy was waiting for her.

"I'm guessing you couldn't get him to cave."

Harley shook her head in a pout.

"That's okay. I mean, just watching a bunch of guys ski in the blazing sun will be fun enough."

Harley shrugged. "I guess you're right."

"And guess what?" Ivy asked excitedly. "I heard Robby Mallasko entered!"

"So?"

"So! I know I'm not into men very much, but I have to admit he's cute." Ivy smiled.

Harley's eyes cast downward. "I don't know. Just looking at another man feels like cheatin' to me."

Ivy rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on, Harley. I'm not saying you're gonna get married and have seven children together! I'm just saying maybe flirting a little with other guys wouldn't be so bad for you." Ivy thought maybe Harley could see what she was missing, but she knew that would only make Harley in a worse mood. Although not much better, Ivy continued, "I mean…do you think the Joker has never flirted with another girl before?"

Harley looked up in shock. "You think he has?"

"I don't know, I'm just saying that it's possible when the Joker goes on his long 'business' trips to kill Batman, he might see another girl he doesn't mind looking at. That's all."

Harley began to feel nervous and unsure all over again. 'Does he even miss me? Does he realize I'm still gone?' she wondered silently to herself.

"Anyway, Harley, I'm just suggesting you live a little. You don't need the Joker to be happy," Ivy pointed out. Changing the subject, she mentioned, "And speaking of Gotham's most notorious villains, I heard the Riddler entered the contest too."

At that moment, Edward approached Harley and Ivy with a grin plastered on his face. "Oh, so I'm among Gotham's most notorious villains huh? I'm flattered!"

Harley and Ivy turned around in surprise. Harley smiled. "Edward, hi!"

"Hey, Eddie," Ivy said coolly.

"Harley! So, that's where you were," Edward cried.

"What do you mean?"

"I was over at your house today to play cards with the Joker and realized you were gone. All the guys missed your bubbly voice, your feminine aroma, and your star-spangled eyes. Well, at least I know I did."

Harley blushed and smiled sweetly as Ivy nudged her in the arm.

Harley said, "Well, thank you, Edward."

"So, why are you at the competition?"

Harley began to explain her predicament. "Well, Mistah J..."

Ivy intercepted, "Um…Harley's living with me now, and we thought we could enter last minute but it turns out we can't."

Harley looked a bit startled by Ivy's comment about her new residence. But she reluctantly figured it was true.

Edward appeared shocked as well. "Oh, you're living with Pam now? I know it's none of my business, but…what happened with the Joker?"

Just before Harley could reply, the announcer called all contestants to the front.

"Oh well…it was nice seeing you girls."

Harley and Ivy wished him luck, before he left, when Ivy immediately turned to Harley. "He was obviously flirting with you, Harley."

"Was not."

"Was to."

"Was not."

Ivy sighed. "Oh, come on, Harley. 'Your feminine aroma and star-spangled eyes'? You can't tell me that's not flirting."

Harley shook her head stubbornly. "That's just flattery, not…flirt-ery?"

Ivy smiled. "Right…"

Harley watched Edward go smoothly down the largest slope. She felt like she looked like mess in her old T-shirt and bell-bottoms. But she thought Edward looked good. Really good.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day, Ivy walked outside to her greenhouse to check water her 'babies'. When she finished, she strode back towards her house and checked her mailbox. It was mostly junk mail, except one mint green envelope with an emerald question mark as a stamp. It was to Harley from the Riddler. Ivy eyed it curiously, and ran back into the house to deliver it.

Harley was lying on the couch with her Betty Boop pajamas still cloaked around her slender frame and rollers still intact in her hair, although it was 1:00PM. She was watching the "Smallville" episode where Clark Kent first kissed Lana Lang. It reminded her of the first time the Joker planted his lips on hers. He came into her office for another session, and when she asked him what he had been thinking about lately, he kissed her passionately before replying, "That's all I've been thinking about."

Harley didn't want the Joker to occupy her mind, so she switched to "Family Ties." 'Better,' she thought.

At that moment, Ivy came rushing in, startling Harley.

"Red? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Harley. But you got a letter!" Ivy said elatedly.

Harley's eyes widen with hope. "From Mistah J?"

Ivy shook her head disapprovingly. "No. From Edward."

Ivy handed Harley the envelope, and she slowly opened it. The Riddler's beautiful calligraphy wrote out the words: 'To Harley, With Love.' Love?

Harley started to read the Riddler's letter out loud. "'Dear Harley, I have a riddle for you to solve. I'm usually clad in red, but I can be seen clad in black. Sometimes I'm warm and other times I'm like ice. I don't have wings, but when I'm around you I flutter. What am I?' Well…a heart, right, Red?"

"I would think so…you know what that means right, Harls?"

Harley shook her head. "Red, no! He doesn't love me! I mean…he knows I'm with Mistah J!"

"Really? Because it doesn't look like you're with him now…and it doesn't look like you'll be going drinking and dancing any time soon." Ivy looked at Harley as if she had just proven her point.

Harley knew Ivy was right. But it felt so completely wrong to actually reply to Edward's letter. But as much as her heart told her not to, she found herself asking Ivy to teach her calligraphy.

The Joker sat at his wide desk trying to come up with a new plan to abolish Batman once and for all. Nothing unusual for him to be doing, but the fact that he hadn't come up with a single idea was foreign.

'It's just not the same without Harley being here to annoy me and distract me with her stupid ideas and unvarying need for affection,' the Joker contemplated. 'Oh, how I miss her.'

Although Joker and Harley had only been apart for a day, a slow, salty tear rolled down the Joker's bright white face like snow beginning to melt. He started to wonder if she had finally had it, and decided to permanently stay with Ivy. Then it hit him…Ivy! All he had to do was go down to Ivy's place, apologize to Harley, and she'd be back in his arms. He just hoped that's all it would take. Usually an apology would do the trick, but he wasn't sure about anything anymore.

Still hesitant over her decision to reply to Edward, Harley filled her fountain pen with ink over and over again.

Ivy asked frustrated, "Are you gonna write him the letter or not?"

Harley looked up at her friend. "Red, you usually don't care about guys at all. What makes you so interested now?"

Ivy turned her back to Harley. Her flowing, shimmering red hair covered her face when she shrugged insecurely and said, "I don't know. I ended up talking to Robert Mallasko at the competition. I asked him how he felt about winning. He said, 'It all feels like a dream. But I'm not delirious enough to kiss a poisonous plant.'"

Harley got up and put her arm around Ivy. "Oh, I'm sorry, Red."

Ivy nodded as if it was no big deal. "He just referred to me as a plant. I guess I miss being treated like a woman. And when I saw that love letter…I don't know, I guess it just made me in the mood to fall in love."

Harley smiles shyly and sadly. "I guess I know what you mean. I've been with Mistah J for what seems like forever, and I never once thought about anyone else. Including myself. And now I feel like a weight's been lifted off my shoulders…and I can experience some new things. Like replying to a love letter for example."

Ivy and Harley chuckled. Harley sat back down and began writing. "Dear Edward, the answer to your riddle is the heart. I have a riddle for you. What should all women have, but only few lucky women get?'"

Harley folded the letter and put it inside a purple envelope. She was about to seal it with a kiss, but couldn't bring herself to do it. Instead she licked it shut and put a personalized stamp on it. The background of the stamp was red and black diamonds, with the words "From the heart of Harley" on it. The Joker had made the stamps for her. 

She thought about it for a minute, until Ivy snapped her out of it.

"You okay?" Ivy asked.

Harley smiled jovially. "Yeah, of course. Um…I'm gonna go bring this to the post office."

Ten minutes after Harley left Ivy's, the Joker arrived. He rang her doorbell and waited for her scowling face to answer. Sure enough it did. Ivy, shocked that the Joker was at the door, stumbled for words.

"J-joker. What are you doing here?" She despised the way she had just stuttered. It made her appear afraid. And that what not the message she wished to convey to the Joker.

Although the Joker normally made pretentious small talk, on that day he avoided it. "Is Harley here?"

"Why should I tell you?"

Joker replied curtly, "Because I came to get her and bring her home."

Ivy was honestly bewildered. "Why?"

Joker didn't answer. "Is she here?"

Ivy told him the truth, in a way. "No, she's not."

"Do you know where she is?"

"No," Ivy said simply. "And even if I did, why would I tell you?

Joker sighed. "Nevermind. Go back to your little rose garden…I mean as Mariah Carey would say, 'Who would care when the tears of a clown fall down?'"

Ivy rolled her eyes. "You listen to Mariah Carey?"

Joker shook his head solemnly. "Harley does. That song was never one of my favorites. But seeing as you won't tell me where my Harls is, I guess the babe sings the truth."

"Goodbye, Joker." Ivy said his name with a sharp edge.

"Not goodbye, Pammy," the Joker responded as he turned to leave. "I'll be back…"


	5. Chapter 5

Harley arrived back shortly, and Ivy decided not to tell her about the Joker's visit. She knew if Harley heard the Joker came for her, she would become weak and lovesick again. And from what Ivy could tell, Harley was starting to get better.

Harley greeted, "Hey, Red. Miss me?"

"Someone just missed you," Ivy mumbled to herself.

"What?"

"Nothing."

The next morning, Harley got up early to see if she received another letter from the Riddler. She checked the mailbox eagerly and found another green envelope. Her stomach filled with nervousness, excitement, and guilt. She took it back to her room, and opened it quietly, trying not to wake Ivy, who was a late sleeper.

"'Dear Harley, your riddle puzzles me. What should every woman have, but few lucky women get? Hopefully a man that can tell a good riddle. Since you answered my other riddle correctly, I have another for you. Who wants to see you again and meet you at The Noir Café tomorrow at 6:00PM? That's right, me of course! I hope you agree to meet me,'" Harley read quietly to herself.

Harley gasped. An actual date? She wasn't sure how to feel. She still loved the Joker, and she knew she would never feel differently. But the idea of a guy who treated her with love and respect was elating. As she thought more, she realized that the Joker treated her with love and respect when they first fell in love. Could the cycle be repeating? She had too many questions and doubts, but after thinking about it long and hard she came up with a verdict.

Harley began writing her response. 'Dear Edward, I'd love to meet you at the Noir Café. I'll see you at 6:00…'

Joker decided to try Ivy's house again as he promised. He rang her doorbell, and again she answered with a frown. A facial trait the Joker hated to see, unless it was on Batman. After bickering with Ivy for what seemed like an eternity, he convinced her to let him in. Although Ivy told the Joker Harley wasn't there, and that was the truth he realized, he thought he might be able to get a clue to where she might be.

He spotted the two envelopes from the Riddler and decided to distract Ivy. "Well, I guess you were telling the truth after all. But I am truly thirsty, Pammy…could I have a cup of water?"

Ivy looked at the Joker with growing suspicion.

Joker pleaded, "Just one cup of water and I'll be gone. Promise."

Joker offered his pinky to her, but she declined and went to get his water. Joker rapidly took the envelopes. His heart stung when he saw the words "To Harley, With Love" on them. Ivy came in and Joker drank his ice-cold water. Although he managed to grin on his way out, she could tell something was wrong.

That evening Harley took out two lovely dresses and asked Ivy her opinion. "What do you think, Red? The sparkly black gown or the ravishing red dress?"

Ivy studied both dresses for a moment before making her decision. "Hmmm…well the black one says 'I'm a sophisticated young lady who has class, good taste, and wants to be taken seriously.' And the red one says 'I'm ready to have a good time. I'm a fun and bright young lady who loves dancing, kissing, and looking sexy.'

"So, the red one right?"

Ivy smiled and nodded. "And I've got just the right lip-gloss to match that color. I'll go get it."

"Thanks." Harley brushed her golden hair and looked at herself in the mirror nervously.

Ivy came back in holding the lip-gloss. "It's called First Date!" Ivy announced, then impeded upon seeing Harley fidgeting and looking anxious. "Don't be nervous, baby. It's only Edward."

Harley folded her hands in her lap. "It just feels so wrong, Red."

"Don't worry about it. It'll be fun," Ivy reassured her. Ivy took Harley's hair and held it up. "Are you gonna wear your hair up or down?"

Harley told Ivy, "I was thinking down, and I could curl it?"

Ivy nodded. "Hmmm…good idea."

Ivy let Harley's hair fall back down as she took out the curling iron for Harley. "Thanks, Red," Harley peeped.

Ivy left the room as Harley began curling her long, thick hair.

The Joker opened the envelopes and read Edward's love letters, or love riddles actually. His heart melted as looked up at his best friend Harvey who was reading them with him.

"Edward was supposed to be my friend or and how does he show it?" the Joker yelled, his fury and jealousy burning inside him. "By trying to seduce the woman I love?"

Joker froze as he said it. The woman he loves. He finally said it. He said he loved Harley. And he had to let her know.

"I'm going down to that Noir Café!"

Harvey looked concerned. "What are you gonna do?"

"I'm gonna give Harley her anniversary present."

Harley promenaded down the stairs like Cinderella, her garnet dress flowing down to her knees, her matching high heels with diamond hearts, and her ruby lips looking softer than ever.

"You look great, Harley-girl," Ivy complimented.

"Thank you, Red. Not overdressed?"

Ivy answered, "Hey, there's no such thing as overdressing for a first date."

Harley hugged Ivy, and Ivy wished her luck. Harley smiled and took her red and black diamond purse from the counter.

The doorbell rang.

Harley answered the door to see Edward looking fabulous in his navy blue suit and forest green tie.

He beamed and said, "Good evening, Harleen. You look amazing."

Harley did a little twirl for him and blushed slightly. Edward chuckled.

"You look amazing too," Harley replied a bit maladroitly.

Edward smiled as he gave her a single red rose. But as Harley looked at the crimson petals and smelled the sweetness of the rose, she remembered the time she realized she was in love with the Joker. She found a rose on her desk, and went to his cell to ask him how it got there. The rest was history.

But Harley didn't want to think about that tonight, and so she gave the beautiful rose a quick sniff and thanked Edward. As Edward led Harley to his pearl white '65 Mustang convertible, she felt excited. But her cloud of guilt still rained on her enthusiasm.


	6. Chapter 6

The Joker zoomed off in his deep purple car into the dark night. Furious, scared, nervous, and completely in love were only a few of his many fluctuating sentiments. He was unfamiliar with this part of Gotham, where all the nightclubs, fancy restaurants, and quaint cafés were.

The only time he had been to Noir Café was to do a comedy club when he was young. His act went horribly and made him reconsider his career in comedy. He knew that being inside the diminutive but picturesque café would bring back some bad memories. But he knew Harley was worth it. The Joker would not stand by and idly watch a corny idiot with bad riddles take away his girl.

As he parked and got out of his car, people screamed and stared. "I'm not here to cause damage to Gotham…for once. I'm just here to get my girlfriend."

Everyone stepped back, but eventually let him go into the café, more likely from fear than trust.

"I can't even walk the streets of Gotham without people fearing what I'll do next…I wonder why!" Joker chuckled to himself, but his laughing came to a cessation when he saw Edward and Harley sit down at a reserved table near the stage. The familiar stage where he had first told his jokes to the public. Well, he decided to create another 'first' on the stage.

Harley and Edward were sitting at their table making small talk. It was an understandably awkward time for them. Besides the fact that both agreed any first date is uncomfortable, the Riddler had been one of Joker's card buddies from the day they met in Arkham Asylum. The Joker always knew that Edward thought Harley was a babe, but he always thought, "Who doesn't?" He didn't know Edward would actually steal her away. The Joker didn't think theft was the kind of crime the Riddler would commit.

Harley shifted gauchely in her chair as the Riddler tensely straightened his tie.

"So, Harleen…you don't mind if I call you that do you?"

Harley shook her head. Of course she preferred Harley, but she needed a change of pace. Just for tonight.

Edward smirked. "Good. So, when I saw you at the snow-skiing competition, I thought 'Harley Quinn snow-skiis? What can't she do?'"

"Well, actually, I've never skied before in my life!" Harley admitted. "I just needed to get my mind off some things, and I decided I'd give it a shot. Obviously, it didn't work out."

"Hey, I admire you for trying something you've never done before. I mean, I didn't win the competition, and though that kills me, I tried my best," Edward said.

"Yeah, you were great," Harley said, then suddenly her eyes grew bright with laughter. "You're gonna plotz when you hear this! I heard that Robert Mallasko only won because he was going out with all three of the female judges!"

Edward gasped and laughed. "Seriously? All three? Even that 60-year-old woman? Mrs…Jabberi, I think her name was?"

"Yeps!"

They both started laughing loudly, and Joker looked at her with his sad tourmaline eyes. She didn't see him though, until an announcement was made on stage.

The announcer proclaimed, "Our next karaoke singer will be a gentleman who wants to sing the song, "Let It Be Me" to his love, Harley."

The announcement was greeted with a lively plaudit. When Harley heard her name she jumped, and looked up to see the Joker, acoustic guitar and microphone in hand. His emerald eyes looked straight into Harley's, as their eyes finally met. The Joker had been longing to see that look.

The Joker looked at Harley with a genuine love and longing she'd never seen from him before. Edward saw the connection and love between them, and frowned sadly. But he understood.

And then the Joker sang, "_I bless the day I found you  
And I want to stay around you  
And so I beg you  
Let it be me_

_Don't take this heaven from one  
If you must cling to someone  
Now and forever  
Let it be me_

Each time we meet love  
I find complete love  
Without your sweet love  
Honey, what would life be

Don't ever leave me lonely  
Tell me you love me only  
And that you'll always  
Let it be me

Each time we meet love  
I find complete love  
Without your sweet love  
Honey, what would life be

Don't take this heaven from one  
If you must cling to someone  
Now and forever  
Let it be me."

The Joker ended his song and although most of the audience had fled from fear at the sight of the Joker, he didn't care. He took Harley's hand and brought her on the stage.

"Harley…"

"Yes?"

The Joker breathed deeply, patently apprehensive yet thrilled. "I know how long you've waited to hear this. And I want you to know how long I've been waiting to say it."

Harley looked into his eyes with hope, fear, and bona fide love.

"I love you, Harley."

Harley began to cry from just those three words, and for once the Joker didn't mind seeing tears. Then he did something that shocked everyone left in the café. He bent down on one knee, and with a small purple box in hand, he began to cry. The Joker was crying. No one could believe it, except Harley, who had been the only one in his lifetime to see him cry. He wiped away his tears as he wiped away hers.

"Harley, you were only gone for two days, but in that day I was able to realize what I had felt for a long time. If you were to be away from me…for even one day, I couldn't last. You are a part of me, the greatest part of me. And I don't know if I could go on another day without you. Will you marry me…Puddin?"

Harley cried, "Of course!"

Harley and the Joker embraced passionately. Their hug seemed to last forever and everyone seemed to disappear. The Joker put a stunning diamond ring on Harley's finger and they held hands as they walked out together.


	7. Chapter 7

Harley rushed into Ivy's house to tell her the wonderful news.

"Red! Red! Hurry! Come down here, quick!"

Ivy hurried down the stairs. "What's wrong? Harley, are you hurt?"

Harley caught her breath. "No, Red, I'm betta than eva! He proposed!"

Ivy's green eyes grew wide. "The Riddler?"

Harley giggled. "No, Mistah J! He came down to the café, and sang me a song, and in front of everyone, he proposed! It was the sweetest thing he's ever done."

Although Ivy had always feared the thought of Harley actually marrying the Joker, she hugged Harley and truly congratulated her. She knew how happy Harley was, and she knew all she could do was hope that being married to the Joker would keep her as happy as she was then.

"You are definitely gonna be my bridesmaid of course!" Harley said.

Ivy clapped her hands in excitement. She wasn't much for weddings, but she knew that standing beside her best friend would be something she would never pass up. At the thought, Ivy then began to look sad.

"What's wrong, Red?"

"Nothing…it's just…I know this is selfish of me, but now you're getting married! I'm gonna be kind of lonely. But I guess I'll just have to share your happiness." Ivy laughed.

Harley's eyes shone with mirth. "Hmmm…I've got a better idea."

Harley called up the Riddler on his cell phone.

"Hello?" Edward answered.

"Edward? I'm extremely sorry I ran off like that."

Edward sighed. "It's fine, Harleen. I knew that you weren't truly in love with me. When you're heart belongs to someone, there's no taking it back."

"I am so sorry, though. I think you're a great guy. You're smart, funny, cute, and your riddles are to die for!"

Edward laughed.

Harley added, "Literally, huh?"

Edward responded, "Well, Harley, I'm glad that we can be friends, if that's all. I hope I'm invited to your wedding."

"Of course!" Harley exclaimed. "That is…if you can get Mistah J to forgive you for trying to steal me away."

"I'll have to work on a good riddle for that one."

Harley asked, "In the meantime, what do you say to another date?"

"What? With you?"

"Um," Harley uttered. "With Pamela."

Ivy was shocked. "Harley!"

"Oh, Pam's too good for me," Edward replied.

Feigning offense, Harley interrogated, "And what does that make me?"

Edward, suddenly realizing what he said, laughed embarrassedly. "I didn't mean that…it's just…"

"Hey, forget about it. I'm engaged, remember?" Harley squealed with excitement when she said that word or when she looked at her ring.

"I never got a chance to congratulate you."

"Thank you. So, whadda ya say to the date?"

Ivy blushed, but she was glad Harley was setting her up. The whole time she acted like she wanted Robert Mallasko, but it was really Edward she had her eye on.

Edward answered, "If Pam would go out with me, I'd be more than honored."

Harley jumped up in excitement. The Joker, who was waiting outside in his car for Harley, beeped his horn. "Great! I got to go right now though. See ya soon!"

Harley hung up the phone. "He said you were too good for him! But 'he'd be honored' to go out with you!"

"Wow. Love is in the air tonight, huh?"

"Mmmm hmmm," Harley sighed dreamily. "Just think of it, Red! I'm gonna be Misses J!"

Ivy smiled slightly. "That actually sounds pretty good, Harls."

The Joker honked again.

Harley said, "I better go. My prince awaits." Harley was about to leave, but she forgot something. "Red? Thank you. For all you do for me. You're the best friend a girl could have!"

"Right back at ya."

When Harley left, Ivy sat down at her desk. She realized she hadn't made any official plans with Edward. But she knew just the way to make them.

Ivy filled her fountain pen and began to write.

"'What has four legs, one mouth, and a deep connection? Me and you kissing on our first date.' Now that's a riddle!"

When Harley got home she found the letters that Joker took from Ivy's house. "How did you get these, Mistah J?"

Joker replied, "I went to Pammy's twice, and you weren't there. But I went inside and found those. I asked Pammy to get me a glass of water, and I swiped them."

Harley grinned deviously. "Tsk tsk. Bad boy!"

She looked at the letters and found one she hadn't opened. It was labeled "To Harley, With Love", but was in a purple envelope.

"Open it," Joker urged.

Harley read aloud, "'Harley, I still haven't given you my anniversary present.'" Harley turned around to see the Joker lying on the bed. "Oh!" she squeaked.

"Come here, Harley."

"Oh, Mistah J!"

Joker laughed. "Mister J sounds so formal now doesn't it? Just call me Puddin."

"Puddin!" Harley jumped on the bed next to him. They started kissing passionately.

The Joker smiled. "Happy anniversary, Harley."

_The time has come _

_For looking into your eyes of blue_

_And telling you how I feel_

_Emotions that I never knew or even imagined  
Could be real_

_You're the one who taught me hate from love_

_And weak from tough_

_That's a lot to learn,_

_What, what can I give you in return?_

_If you wanted the moon_

_I would try to make a start_

_But I, would rather you let me give my heart_

_To Harley, with love_

_Those many years have hurried by_

_Why did they fly, fly away?_

_Why is it clowns are afraid to show emotions?_

_And hide love behind toxins and potions?_

_I want to break my cycle and tell you_

_That I love everything you say and do_

_If you wanted the world,_

_I'd surround it with a wall, I'd scrawl_

_These words with letters ten feet tall_

_To Harley, with love_


End file.
